These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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