i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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