what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
