you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
