He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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