I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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