it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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