Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
