Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize