The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
