I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
You were trust falling into bushes
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
