After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
