why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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