Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
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He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
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