Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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