how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
