a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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