it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
