Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
