omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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