Dual....:-)
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
my liver is dry heaving
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