the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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