Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
