dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
