Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
