His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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