we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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