I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
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dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
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My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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