I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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