I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
