there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
