I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You are a genius and a whore.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
