My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
