so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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