My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
