What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
