Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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