So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
