you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize