It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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