I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
