I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
ttyl tear gas
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
