Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
