UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i think i have herpe
just one?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
