You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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