if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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