is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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