so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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