Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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