I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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