You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
