I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
