Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
