Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
MIDGETS
????
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
