I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize