That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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