She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
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we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
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There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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