Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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