i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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