Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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