no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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