You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
