Your face is a jimmy john
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
