he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
